the wow factor

I am back on the single road of life
.
I think I know what want now and I want the wow factor

Emptiness

I feel under attack.

Under attack by some little demon that ran off with my feelings and not trying to give them back.

I want to have feelings toward things. I want to be able too car. i want to be able to see someone and know i feel something.

when i am angry i feel a calm presence around me. when i should be yelling and screaming.

but at the end of the day i still fell nothing for no one or anything.


i just smile because i see others doing so

Time warp

So i have a boyfriend now.

he is an ex that i have always said that i want to be back with him.

Now that i am back with him i don't know if this is what i want. Like he is great. but i am not feeling anything at all. But at the same time i don't know what to expect either. I guess i am supposed to be happy with someone.
Its kinda like when u look forward to a day and then when it gets here it nothing like u built it up too be.

i don't know. but i know i like him and care for him lot. i think i got the pre relationship gritters i guess.

but this is my ex i dated when i was in high school. and he was my 1st love. but i'am sad that we live in different city and i cant be with him all the time like i like too be. at least the holidays are here and i can see him then