In love with Lies (poem)

The reason why I can see between your lies because I won't let myself fall into the pit of deceit.

Awwww but I have laid before on those soft sheets. I laid in their web just for awhile. Cause I wanted to see why everyone else smiles.
I wanted to see why lies are soothing to a untrained ear. These are so sweet. I stay on a sugar high as I jam to the sound of lies while laying on cloud 9.

As I lay here I feel the chill in the air no warmth can make it here. So I cover myself with deceit & close my eyes to the pain I wish to ignore.

I am on cloud 9 but I am only up here by lies. If this is a lie why come go back down with loneliness & discomfort.

When I can sit here with my bottle of empty promises and pretend everything will be fine. This song is stuck on repeat "there will be no one better for you, there is only one me". Time after time I listen to this song.

When I finally put down the headphones thats are full of strung out lies.

And lifted the vial of uncovered truths.

Attention (poem)

I love the attention. I love you's" "you mean the world too me" "i care for you a lot" but I don't feel the same way. I think if I stay around long enough maybe I can feel the same thing.

I am numb to the feelings of these emotions. I feel only pain. I feel only stress. It seems to me that my feelings are reversed to everything that happens. Things that didn't bother me before are bothering me now. The things I used to love to surround my self in don't give me the same pleasure as before.

I keep boys around so I can hear this sweet nectar to my ears. So I can get high off your embrace.

When I think of how you are for me eases my mind. When I think of your want that you have for me gives me the energy to keep moving.

The coal that keeps me running shouldn't come from anther source but mine. But others coal just burn so great inside my soul.

Then as the fire finally comes to a glowing ash.

I seek out anthers love & embrace of the next dark & coal.

Understand

Vacations bring great memories and you meet great people. Sometime you can meet a long time friend or someone special. I meet someone that interested me on this trip. It seemed like we could have went far in a relationship aspect. As time went on it was a constant battle back and forth. Why!? please I don't even know where to begin. I was under the impression that he was interested in me & i was interested in him but at the same time our personality clashed. Then I do have my ways off messing things up too. Cause i am head strong, smart mouth, short temper, spoiled, have it my way type of personality. But he seems to bring all of these things out of me at once. I really don't understand why or how. I try to open my self up but with him i am so guarded and i really don't know how to let down that wall. Cause when i talk to him i feel like he belittle me or try to seem superior so this causes me to back up and put a guard up. this is an ongoing battle.....i will just have to take this loss


hummmmmppppphhhhh just will be anther one i don't understand