I love the attention. I love you's" "you mean the world too me" "i care for you a lot" but I don't feel the same way. I think if I stay around long enough maybe I can feel the same thing.
I am numb to the feelings of these emotions. I feel only pain. I feel only stress. It seems to me that my feelings are reversed to everything that happens. Things that didn't bother me before are bothering me now. The things I used to love to surround my self in don't give me the same pleasure as before.
I keep boys around so I can hear this sweet nectar to my ears. So I can get high off your embrace.
When I think of how you are for me eases my mind. When I think of your want that you have for me gives me the energy to keep moving.
The coal that keeps me running shouldn't come from anther source but mine. But others coal just burn so great inside my soul.
Then as the fire finally comes to a glowing ash.
I seek out anthers love & embrace of the next dark & coal.
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