Selfish?

Well i am still dating and seeing what is out there. My ex came back in my life again.Not that he has every really left but, just pushed his way to the surface. to shake up my thoughts again. But i have too say it is refreshing that it didn't bother me as much like it used too. Now I can see him and keep my feelings under control. I can go out to dinner with him and accept that this is not going any further than this meal that we are sharing at this time and place. Cause right now i am talking to one of my high school dreams. He was the reason i took a class. Feels great to be talking to him and too have him interested in me and as am I. I feel like we click but almost too late in time.

Is that even possible?

Well I think that he has a lot on his plate at this time and place and for me to even add to that would be selfish of me. I only want to add to his plate because i wanted to step up and say how i felt in the past. And want to live out something i didn't have the courage to do then. I know for a fact that i am a lot to handle and i love attention and being slight bit self-centered. Which is something that i am working on but his attention is needed in 4 other places before he could even possibly think about me. He has 3 special seeds that needs his light and water so they can grow into these beautiful flowers. Then he has to be that sun for them but things are going threw the rainy season and for me to add thunder too it. I am not saying that i am that thunder but i come with my own pot and i have always gotten a lot of sun.

Maybe i am seeing this situation as an excuse as an easy pass out because the situation he is in his defiantly a expert course. That only past or similar travelers can travel this road. And for inexperience travelers this might be a little over whelming.

I am just think i am not the right one for him in the end. Even though he is sweet and has a great heart and excellent go get'em attitude. He has truly been a great friend

I just think it might be the wrong time or i might have missed my chance.